Jenn's Story
I have never been actually raped but I have been attacked on numerous occasions and twice have had to have intervention.
There was a guy I went to high school with (he was actually a friend of my first love). I guess he figured that since I was with his friend I'd kick down to him too. He used to corner me and trap me every chance he got. I knew that he had date raped three other girls and I was always scared of him. But he'd always play if off like we were just playing around.
One time though (we were in EMS training together) while I was strapped to a back board, (we all had to be to get certified, it's supposed to teach you compassion for your victims) he climbed on top of me and started trying to get my shirt off, as though I would just be quiet??? I started yelling, because I couldn't move. I was completely helpless, which is the worst feeling in the world, and my boyfriend at the time, his friend, saw what was happening and literally threw this guy off of me. I thought he was going to beat him senseless.
When I finally got unstrapped and calmed down, my bf at the time tried to get me to tell him what happened. The fucker thought that somehow I had led his friend on. It was a mess. Anyway, about two years after that, long after we had broken up and each moved on, he apologized for not believing me and for being so blind as to the person his (by then) ex-friend was. The guy is now a firefighter who works in he same department as my dad and some of my good friends and a couple ex's. They all know the person he is and HATE him. They asked me to file charges against him (for several other things) but I wouldn't do it. I knew that the working environment he has every single day is far worse than anything the law could ever do to him...karma comes back around. His captain is one of my best friends.
The time that scared me worse than that (I still haven't fully recovered from the fear) happened when I was in Mexico. I guess that because I was rescued, I should be thankful that I was able to learn to take care not to put myself in dangerous positions. I never walk by myself at night, I don't go into unlit areas with men I don't trust explicitly, etc.
Anyway I used to live in Mexico for a month every summer, teaching english. We lived in Ensenada but on the way back to Cali we used to stop in Tijuana to shop and have lunch. I already knew not to go off alone and all that (hell I'd been going there for seven years by that point). But we were in a market on a side street and in the span of 15 seconds I had gone from looking at jewelry with a friend to being carried (yeah literally carried) off against my will by two big guys. I was fighting with them and yelling at them (in Spanish and in English) and kicking so they started dragging me instead. They got me down a dark alley and they started pulling me down some stairs. They were saying the awful things they wanted to do to me, in spanish, like I didn't understand them...it still gives me chills to think about it.
I was still kicking and screaming and when they had me most of the way down the stairs. (There was a big heavy door at the bottom. There was no way I could have gotten away.) A friend of mine had realized I was missing and he came running after me. He was yelling at the guys in English and then in Spanish for them to get their hands off of his wife before he called the cops. He forced them back and pulled me away from them.
I'm still not sure how he managed to get me away from them; it must have been rage. They took off since some of my other friends were coming up by that point. I was so scared and bruised from fighting with them, Ryan had to pretty much carry me back to our vehicles. He wouldn't leave my side for any reason the whole rest of the way home. I know in my heart, that if Ryan hadn't found me exactly when he did, I wouldn't be here to write this all down.
Still anyone grabbing my arm from behind is enough to send me into a rage and this happened several years ago. I still went back to Mexico after that (I still love Ensenada). But I refuse to go into TJ without a man I trust holding onto me the entire time.
There was a guy I went to high school with (he was actually a friend of my first love). I guess he figured that since I was with his friend I'd kick down to him too. He used to corner me and trap me every chance he got. I knew that he had date raped three other girls and I was always scared of him. But he'd always play if off like we were just playing around.
One time though (we were in EMS training together) while I was strapped to a back board, (we all had to be to get certified, it's supposed to teach you compassion for your victims) he climbed on top of me and started trying to get my shirt off, as though I would just be quiet??? I started yelling, because I couldn't move. I was completely helpless, which is the worst feeling in the world, and my boyfriend at the time, his friend, saw what was happening and literally threw this guy off of me. I thought he was going to beat him senseless.
When I finally got unstrapped and calmed down, my bf at the time tried to get me to tell him what happened. The fucker thought that somehow I had led his friend on. It was a mess. Anyway, about two years after that, long after we had broken up and each moved on, he apologized for not believing me and for being so blind as to the person his (by then) ex-friend was. The guy is now a firefighter who works in he same department as my dad and some of my good friends and a couple ex's. They all know the person he is and HATE him. They asked me to file charges against him (for several other things) but I wouldn't do it. I knew that the working environment he has every single day is far worse than anything the law could ever do to him...karma comes back around. His captain is one of my best friends.
The time that scared me worse than that (I still haven't fully recovered from the fear) happened when I was in Mexico. I guess that because I was rescued, I should be thankful that I was able to learn to take care not to put myself in dangerous positions. I never walk by myself at night, I don't go into unlit areas with men I don't trust explicitly, etc.
Anyway I used to live in Mexico for a month every summer, teaching english. We lived in Ensenada but on the way back to Cali we used to stop in Tijuana to shop and have lunch. I already knew not to go off alone and all that (hell I'd been going there for seven years by that point). But we were in a market on a side street and in the span of 15 seconds I had gone from looking at jewelry with a friend to being carried (yeah literally carried) off against my will by two big guys. I was fighting with them and yelling at them (in Spanish and in English) and kicking so they started dragging me instead. They got me down a dark alley and they started pulling me down some stairs. They were saying the awful things they wanted to do to me, in spanish, like I didn't understand them...it still gives me chills to think about it.
I was still kicking and screaming and when they had me most of the way down the stairs. (There was a big heavy door at the bottom. There was no way I could have gotten away.) A friend of mine had realized I was missing and he came running after me. He was yelling at the guys in English and then in Spanish for them to get their hands off of his wife before he called the cops. He forced them back and pulled me away from them.
I'm still not sure how he managed to get me away from them; it must have been rage. They took off since some of my other friends were coming up by that point. I was so scared and bruised from fighting with them, Ryan had to pretty much carry me back to our vehicles. He wouldn't leave my side for any reason the whole rest of the way home. I know in my heart, that if Ryan hadn't found me exactly when he did, I wouldn't be here to write this all down.
Still anyone grabbing my arm from behind is enough to send me into a rage and this happened several years ago. I still went back to Mexico after that (I still love Ensenada). But I refuse to go into TJ without a man I trust holding onto me the entire time.
posted by Joan Crawford at 4/27/2005 06:32:00 PM
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